|Life is fucking great, as always!
Once again my life has exceeded expectations; I thought it would be good and enjoyable, but last night it was FUCKCUNTING AWESOME!!!!!!1. After collecting my million pound prize from Readers Digest for Most Awesome Person Ever, and my other million pound prize for Least Anti-Depressant Needing Person Ever from Pfizer, I walked home and there were fucking GENIUS CHICKENS in my back garden building me a fucking mansion out of STRAW. FUCKING STRAW. BRILLIANT. And the walls were made of BREASTS, so I spent all night sleeping on breasts. God damn life is awesome and I love me and I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!1 Current Mood: excited
|Hello once again
Life is great as always!
Just thought I'd say that. So how great is everyone else's life? I trust you are all happy, childless, young, free and fully satisfied with yourselves and your lives like I am? Current Mood: cheerful
|My life is the greatest!
Oh man I am having the BEST day ever. I woke up this morning and for some reason there were like 250 chicks sucking my penis (which by the way is 15 inches long and splits girls in half), but they wouldn't go away and I was a bit sore so I had to beat them all away with a broomstick. Then I went downstairs and poured some cereal and the fucking Cheerios were made of GOLD. GOLDEN GOLD. I tried eating them but they broke my teeth, so I pawned the Cheerios for some ten thousand pounds and my teeth grew back because I was so fucking rich. FUCK YES I LOVE MY LIFE. Current Mood: chipper
Oh my god!!!1 I just sat down to go and read the news and 10 kilograms of fat just fell off my ass and started fucking dancing like flubber! HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY LIFE IS THE GREATEST AND NOW I'M THIN Current Mood: satisfied
Hello all you cheerful LiveJournal people! :) I take it you're all having a wonderful time still being alive and having uncut wrists, just like me! :) Today has been such a brilliant day for me, just like every other day in my wonderful and emotionally fulfilling life! I went to college today, but my teacher called me and told me I didn't have to come in until I had sex with every single one of the large breasted Filipino girls queuing outside my door. Whew, that was tiring! So anyway, I went to college in a bus which, instead of having wheels, floated on clouds. CLOUDS MOTHERFUCKER. It was on time, fast and smelt of sweet sweet roses. I brought one of the Filipinos with me as well, and was repeatedly applauded for my fantastic performance.
College was great. I asked out 12 different girls and they all said yes, even when I said that I was already going out with the other 11!!! FUCKING FANTASTIC. To top it all off, everyone's least favourite teacher then EXPLODED (yes-fucking EXPLODED, with FIRE) right in front of our eyes while being beaten to death by a midget, who was also on fire.
I love my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never want to die!!!!!!!!!!!! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):) Current Mood: ecstatic